Reasons to be Cheerful - April '11

A little bit of a catch-up, framed in a list of Reasons to be Cheerful, just cos I need a bit of reminding sometimes.

Most of our days are now spent in the garden. There is nothing J-cub loves more than carrying around buckets of water, and any attempts I make to pick up a watering can are met with "No! Jacob!" and he comes and takes the watering can off me to do it himself. Most of my plants are therefore drowning, but it's nice that he's being helpful. And he looks about 6 in this photo, I can't believe how fast he's growing up:

We're looking after the school guinea pigs for the Easter holidays. We have the option of looking after them longterm, as the nursery class are kind of sick of them. I had guinea pigs up until J-cub's first summer, when old age and intense heat got to them. I've missed them so much, but having the cats is hard enough work on their own, without any further complications. But ... J-cub loves them, they're extremely tame and lovely, and they're cutting the grass for me. So maybe they'll stay:

My lovely fellow-babywearing friend Hannah came round for a sling workshop and an afternoon of fun. We went out for a walk in the woods (I use the term loosely, it's a managed forest and the bit in this photo has been harvested recently), just the two of us, and managed to craftily take photos of each other in a faux-walking pose, then photoshop them together. Awesome:

And, even more awesome, J-cub fell asleep, for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long, on my back. It was lovely:

We've moved J-cub's table out into the middle of the lounge, and he's started having his breakfast there, and having lots and lots (and lots) of tea parties throughout the day. I love our quiet breakfasts:

It's been hot enough for the paddling pool :D. J-cub hasn't quite got the hang of paddling in the pool, but he likes splashing round the edges and throwing things into it:

A day after last year's paddling pool was revived, a friend let me know that TK Maxx were selling Nemo paddling pools. I really need to do a separate post about J-cub's Nemo obsession. Suffice to say, he now has a Nemo paddling pool in the lounge, full of blankets and cushions, where he likes to chill out during his lulls. It'll replace the one in the garden in due course, but it's just too damn perfect at the moment to risk being all dirtied up:

Al-fresco meals. At least one a day, sometimes in the nude, always met with relish, and usually abandoned part-way through to go and chase an ant or investigate an interesting bird-call:

Languid days spent on the beach, investigating rock-pools and chasing crabs:

And most emphatically NOT PADDLING. Looking at worms near the water's edge yes, stepping into the (tiny, sun-warmed) waves no:

Playdates in friend's gardens, where the paddling pool, sandpit and slide are fought over, cries of "Mine!" grow ever-more deafening, and parents sit around and happily reminisce over that long-ago first summer, when we could sit in air-conditioned joy in Starbucks, drinking mocha frappuccinos while our babes drowsed in our arms (not that we'd change anything now, you understand, it's lovely to be out in the sun and their chattering and babbled conversations are amazing to listen to ... I just can't wait until they understand the concept of sharing):

And that pretty much brings us up to date. We're spending this weekend moving J-cub's bedroom from the box-room to the second bedroom. He needs the space, we don't. He's also (gasp) pretty much ready to go in to a bed. I am terrified. Wish us luck.

Back to school

I seem to suddenly have reached the end of the Easter holidays, and woke up this morning with a feeling of imminent doom and not-wanting-to-go-to-workness. Realising that these types of feelings are becoming all too common, I'm doing my best to push them down and out of the way. I have to work. There is no option, and I should be (and am) thankful that I get 4 days off a week. Having worked full-time since I graduated, that should feel like a blessed relief, but I'm just spending all my time moaning that I'm not a stay-at-home-mum. And it's going to STOP.

I made that decision when I woke up this morning, and instead of spending the day malingering and whining and worrying about tomorrow, I've spent the day gardening in the glorious sunshine, and playing with my beautiful bubba, and getting the house clean and tidy ready for my mum who's coming to stay on Thursday (and of course I won't have time to tidy over the next 3 days because I'll be at work, grrrr).

It really has been the best holiday; I think you appreciate it all the more when a) the weather is perfect, b) you have someone to get up for in the morning, c) that someone makes you feel like getting out and about rather than languishing on the sofa and d) it's your first holiday since you've been back at work.

So here's my combined list/photo-diary of our holiday, which also serves as a Reasons to be Cheerful reminder:

1) Took J-cub to be measured for shoes again, and the ones he got in December still fit. That's £24 saved, and he LOVES playing in the shoe-store. Mirrors, squishy purple blocks to slap, other people's children to stare at: Clarks has it all. Also, this photo makes me wish I had twins. Double the fun ;)

2) Had the best day EVER at the beach. I honestly don't think the joy J-cub experienced could ever be beaten. And this photo, of my two boys, makes me so happy.

3) We were supposed to go to J-cub's two best-friends' first birthday parties during the holidays. Sadly, he was too poorly for the first one, but managed to be in top form for party #2, and he greatly enjoyed the cake.

4) Blatantly disregarding the 3-8 years age limit in our village playground, we've been taking J-cub to play on the swings and slide in the gorgeous evenings. He loves the slide more than anything.

5) J-cub is getting more interested in what I'm doing in the kitchen, and likes to stand by the fridge playing with the magnets, especially the magnetic spirit level. His mouth is also the perfect height to suck the kitchen cabinet knobs.

6) Being on holiday means we've been able to shift J-cub's routine from sleeping 7-7, to 8-8. That means we can pick up Jamie from work when he finishes at 7pm; waiting for him on the grass by the river watching the crazy teenagers jumping off the bridge.

7) J-cub made friends with the boys I work with, and drove them crazy while they were trying to play Wii.

8) We went for loads of walks through the woods, which were blissfully cool and peaceful.

9) J-cub started spending a large proportion of his day in the downward dog position, or standing on his head as we like to call it. Which is just ridiculously cute.

10) Spring has most definitely sprung. We went to a garden centre today, and spied a whole load of little ducklings beetling around on the pond.

Reasons to be Cheerful

I don't know whether it's the after-effects of work, or the fact that I've barely seen any of my friends for weeks, or the constant rain, but I've been struggling to keep my head above water lately, where 'water' refers to 'the deep, dark and dangerous pool where post-natal depression lies dormant, waiting to pounce on me the moment I stop paddling'.

Today I got close to not going swimming (literally, not metaphorically), and when I stop doing things (especially things I've paid in advance for) then it's a swift fall into not leaving the house, not talking to anyone, and sitting on the sofa crying all day. I desperately didn't want to go: I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to dance around a swimming pool merrily singing "Splish, splash, splish, splash, aroooooouuunnndd aaaaand UP in the air!", I didn't want all the effort of undressing and drying and dressing an over-tired, hungry baby. But I managed to go, I managed to avoid talking to anyone (it's very easy, you just don't talk to anyone), and it was a bit shit as J-cub was not at all in the mood and I felt like an awful mother for putting my needs (to push myself to go) over his (to stay home and have a nap).

After we got home and J-cub had had his long-awaited nap, he woke up like an angel, happy and fun and full of the joys of spring. So I thought I'd better try and perk myself the hell up, and think about the things that have made me happy this week. And I might even get around to contributing to the 'What are your strengths as a Mum' thread on the BLW forum, which I've been avoiding like the plague as my brain just laughs at me every time I look at it. (See? I can't stop it. I AM A GOOD MUM. And I'm trying very hard to be a happy Mum).

Reasons to be Cheerful:

#1 - Giant Cookies

I made giant cookies. Giant cookies are the reason why I haven't lost my baby-weight yet - quite frankly, the Tesco Finest cookies are the best cookies I've ever tasted and I therefore find it impossible to pass them by, just in case they stop making them. And they're £1.something for 4, and they just make me happy. I found this recipe, and gleefully set to making them. The ended up HUGE, as I misread the recipe slightly and dropped half cups on the baking sheet, rather than quarter-cups. They were too sugary for my taste, but still yummy. Sadly, not a patch on the Tesco ones.

#2 - Teddy Bear's Picnic

Jacob and his Daddy had a teddy bear's picnic. This was one of the post-sickness-and-diarrhoea, not-quite-keen-on-eating-yet, and don't-you-dare-take-me-anywhere-near-the-highchair-or-I'll-have-a-massive-tantrum days. We sat on the floor with plates of appetising foods (toast, yoghurt, clementine, rice cake) and nibbled them whilst making yummy noises. J-cub, unable to resist such temptation, started joining in. And so did his teddies.

#3 - Stir-fry for lunch

This was the first full meal since his birthday party, and he tucked in with relish. During his absence from meals he seems to have been secretly practising how to use a spoon and fork in combination to eat noodles - he coped admirably, and wolfed down the Quorn pieces. It was lovely to see him eating again, although we were at the table for well over an hour and I had got a bit bored by the end of it. I need to learn not to eat my portion in less than 5 minutes.

#4 - Cloth nappies

The new nappies arrived today, and have spent most of the day being pre-washed ready for use tomorrow. I can't wait. Prepare yourselves for lots of photos of J-cub's bum, clad in various cheery colours.

#5 - Jacob

Really, when I'm being an idiot like I am at the moment, I just need to stop and look at him. What more reason is there? How ridiculous is it that I have spent more than half my adult life trying to have a baby, distraught at the thought that it won't happen, and then when it does, my body rebels against me and makes me feel unhappier than I ever have? I am so lucky to have him, he is so absolutely perfect, and so funny. At the moment, he's learnt how to 'hide' behind one of his hands (so half his face is completely exposed), and will happily play 'Peepo!' for hours (substituting his hand for whatever he's got in his hand, like a plate, or a book, or a hat, or his shoe...), giggling like a maniac when you 'find' him.

He's learnt what "I'm coming to get you!" means, and will shriek with delight and crawl off at top speed (for a couple of steps, before he stops to make sure you're following him) before collapsing in hysterical laughter when you catch him. And after Jemaine (his bestest friend, the giraffe in the picture) had to be dishwashered to remove any residual sickness germs (he said surface wash only so I was scared to put him in the washing machine), then took ages to dry so J-cub was without him for more than 24 hours, he's loved him all the more. He's taken to carrying him around in his mouth like a kitten. It's the cutest thing in the world.