Shooting from the hip

I was just fooling around with J-cub on the sofa this morning, playing phonecalls (J-cub picks up anything - a remote control, Jemaine, a book - and clutches it to his neck/ear area. I do the same, and we have a 'chat'.), and I started taking photos without looking through the viewfinder. I read about doing this when I was learning how to use my Fisheye camera, but have never tried it with my normal camera. I'm so happy with the photos I got, they're much more natural and really capture the feel of our day.

In this photo, I'm sitting next to J-cub, but holding the camera out in front of us. He's looking at me, chatting away. I love love love this photo.

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Today's Look Up photo comes with courtesy from Maeby, who was having a loving-us (rather than an indifferent-to-us) morning. Maeby is the special one, out of the two cats. She's very shy, and doesn't really understand that she's a cat, and likes to do things like stare at walls for hours on end and hide under blankets when she's scared (which is most of the time). She's named after a character from our most favouritest TV show of all time, Arrested Development, although her name is purposefully misspelt so as to not confuse vets (who would pronounce Maebe either Mayb or Mave).

When she decides that actually, we're not scary giants after all, and might be worth paying a bit of attention to, she suddenly morphs from crazy, haughty, I'm-not-looking-at-you into OhMyGODIloveyousomuchcanIhaveacuddlepleasenownowSTROKEME! She expresses this by miaowing quietly (the rest of the time she is entirely silent), trying to get as close to your hands as possible and reaching up to make stroking movements with her paw (with claws fully extended - it's quite scary). I managed to catch her in full pleading mode here. Isn't she pretty?

Looking back

I think I spoke too soon yesterday, about Summer being here. We awoke this morning to rain, and it didn't stop until after J-cub went to bed.

We had to break out his new waterproof coat when we went out (as I couldn't find his old one), but strangely, although it is sized 18-24 months, it didn't fit. I stuck all the stickers and tags back onto it so I can return it, and found his 9-12 month one, which he's been wearing since last July. It still fits with room to spare.

He seems to have grown loads recently. His huge, always-fit-no-matter-what's-underneath dungarees have been getting a bit snug, and the shoulder straps have been let out to their maximum length. We've had to let his nappies out by another popper, and this evening we've moved him into his 18-36 month sized Grobags. His feet were right at the end of his old ones, and he kept getting stuck in the night as there wasn't room to wiggle free. I hope the new ones will last the prescribed 18 months, as he sleeps so much better in them than with blankets.

I spent a while this afternoon looking back through my photo archives for a suitable Look Up photo. I found this one, where he's just turned 9 months old. He looks so different here - he has so little hair compared to now, and that really changes the look of his face. He didn't use to have a fringe at all, as you can see here, then it suddenly grew out of nowhere. Plus his legs look really short and undeveloped - he hadn't even started crawling at this point.

He's looking at the lampshade in his room here; a cheap paper globe which I painted while I was pregnant to match the jungle stickers on his wall. It has monkeys, butterflies, vines and flowers on it, and I love it. And I love that he loves it too.

Taken 8/12/09

Is this Summer?

We've spent a gorgeous afternoon in the garden - eating ice lollies, bouncing on the trampoline, splashing in the water tray, watering the plants, investigating here, sowing more seeds, practising walking, investigating there, taking photos, tying up sweet peas, and having a rest on a sun-warmed growbag...

I lay practically underneath the trampoline to get this picture, and even though I missed half his head, I love the happiness you can see on his face. He finally got the hang of bouncing on it today, despite having been happily bouncing in his cot for weeks. And my voice is now hoarse from repeatedly singing the Tigger song in encouragement.

Happy Birthday Bloggers

I've just been catching up on reading some of my favourite blogs, and realised that no less than three of them are celebrating their birthdays today.

So, as a little birthday present to them, I'd like to point you in their direction, to enjoy their loveliness and share in their very different worlds.

Firstly, Happy 21st Birthday to Carla at Messy Carla: A Fashion Blog in a Size 16. Carla is a lovely girl, with impeccable music taste and beautiful dress sense. Her blog offers fashion and make-up advice, lovely giveaways, interviews with fellow fashionistas and much more. I've been Internet-friends with Carla since the days of frequenting myspace, and I once had a funny dream about her, which I can't remember now.

Nextly, Jen at Cakewrecks. I don't 'know' Jen at all, but the blog is well worth a look, if you enjoy eating cake and laughing at people who can't spell and seemingly have no idea of how to make something look edible. Jen's comments on the cakes are hilarious, and she deserves an extra-special birthday cake all of her own. Here you go: CAKE :D (yes, that's the best I can do, I'm tired).

Lastily, the most wonderful Anna Pickard at Little Red Boat, whose birthday, now I come to think of it, might actually have been yesterday. She's currently residing in San Francisco, and I can't work out the time difference. I think it's yesterday. Or was yesterday. Whatever, her blog was the very first blog I ever came across, and have read religiously since. It is, without a doubt, the most funny and best written blog I've ever read, and I am always cheered up by reading it. And she has two lovely cats who are very similar to our dappy cats, and that makes me happy. So Happy (probably belated) Birthday to Anna.

That's all!

The Wicker Boy

When I was pregnant, we found a lovely wicker storage basket in Dunelm Mill, lined with blue gingham and with little wooden wheels. We stored in it all the bits and bobs of baby-clothes which we acquired, and some special soft toys. It languished in the corner of the nursery during the first few months of J-cub's life, filled with cot blankets which were too big to be used while he was tiny.

As he got bigger and the influx of toys started, the basket was moved downstairs to the lounge, was gradually filled up, and quickly overflowed. It's fairly sturdy, and J-cub first pulled himself to stand holding on to it, tempted by the bounty within. From time to time, he starts searching for something in it, chucking toys over his shoulder with little or no regard for people or cats who might be within a hitting radius.

This afternoon he managed to empty the entire basket, turn it on its side, and began to delight himself with the sound the wicker made as he hit it, and rubbed his hands on it, and scratched it. He then realised that he could see through the sides, and played Peepo with us through and around it for ages...

At the moment, when he gets excited he reaches both arms up to the ceiling, throws his head back, squeezes his eyes tightly shut and giggles before slamming both hands down on whatever it is that he's crushing on. I tried to get a shot-from-above of this move (pre-shutting-eyes) for today's look up photo, but was foiled. I just love the expression of pure joy on his face here though...

Having extricated the basket from the mess he'd made, I discovered that the wheels were sturdier than they looked, and I pushed him around the lounge in it for a while, getting up as much speed as possible and crashing into the furniture...

Then J-cub realised that he could push the basket around himself. He's been using his VTech First Steps Baby Walker for a week or so now, and is so proud of his abilities to walk across the floor with it. It does go a bit fast though, and he tends to get left behind and ends up on his knees (or flat on his face). He also can't push it one handed, and can't hold the handle with his giraffe Jemaine also in his hand. The basket solved both these problems; heavy enough to push at a J-cub-appropriate speed, and with room to spare for Jemaine to travel in style...

He also struggles to turn the VTech walker around corners, or to reverse direction, but the basket was just the right height to cruise around to the far side, then push it back the way he came...

J-cub played with the basket for TWO SOLID HOURS. I didn't get a proper look up photo, but it's my rules, and I say the second and third photos count. And it was great fun.

Willow Maze

Not an ideal photo today, as I took it with my phone seconds before the battery died, so I didn't have time to improve on it.

Still, this gives an idea of where I spend around an hour each working day - building dens in the living willow maze in the school field. The maze was planted 3 or 4 years ago, and is now mature and full of twisty passages and secret areas for the children to play in. In the summer it's so green and leafy and cool, and the children get embroiled in scraps from the start of break until the bell rings, over who has laid claim to each den.

It was my first day back at work today, and I managed to cope with only a few coughing fits and no fainting spells whatsoever.

I was much more relaxed at work today, as I dropped J-cub off at nursery with no tears whatsoever, and he even held out his arms to go to his keyworker, then waved bye-bye to me. When I went to pick him up, he was happy playing in a pile of Duplo and turned away as if to say "Just let me finish this game Mummy". He also told me all about his day, in his own inimitable style, by pointing out the painting he'd done, some glittery pictures he liked, the books he read, and the cot he'd slept in.

We came home for a couple of hours of cuddles, squeezes, smooshy kisses, no nap for me (J-cub delightfully crawled over to me and prised my eyelids open) ... then the next 4 or 5 years of our life were ruined as Brown stood down, Cameron became PM and a mostly-Tory government came one step closer. If you're as unhappy about this as I am, you might want to consider offering your support here: http://www.takebackparliament.com/

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This photo was taken looking up from the very centre of the willow maze, where all the paths converge into a circular clearing and all the branches criss-cross to create a ceiling overhead.

Thoughts on co-sleeping

Trawling our massive YMCA charity shop the other day (yes, even charity shops are going super-sized), I found a book which causes Jamie to giggle every time he catches sight of the title: Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson.

I've nearly finished it now, and it's been an illuminating read. The book pulls together anecdotes, research, advice from parenting manuals and the author's own experiences to give the historical and societal reasons for co-sleeping with your baby. Co-sleeping was never an option for us, as Jamie wouldn't wake if a fire alarm was going off, and has been on pretty heavy duty medication since before J-cub was born, which is a big no-no when it comes to safe co-sleeping. Regardless of this, the book has made me want to go back in time and enjoy the comfort and ease of being right there with J-cub all the time.

It would definitely have made our lives easier when J-cub was tiny, as we ended up taking it in turns to sleep with him in our arms on the sofa (him sleeping, me watching Friends DVDs or Jamie watching The Wire) or bounce him in his bouncy chair. I fed him in bed plenty of times, but started waking up screaming "Get the baby! I've dropped him!" having dreamt that I'd fallen asleep with him on me underneath the duvet (even though I never had him under the duvet), and the stress was just so much that it was easier to bring him downstairs to feed.

I found it very difficult to sleep in the same room as him, as I was constantly woken by his noises, and found it hard to fall back to sleep. Again, the book covers this, suggesting that after a few days, the mother becomes so attuned to her baby's noises that they don't wake her at all, and as she doesn't need to sit up or get out of bed to attend to the baby, she never wakes up fully, and so is more rested in the morning. That would have been amazing, and I wouldn't have to carry around the guilt from all the night's I spent sleeping in the study, while Jamie stayed with J-cub.

When he was a bit older, and still sleeping in a crib at the foot of our bed, I would feed J-cub to sleep lying on our bed, and often fell asleep there with him. Jamie would come up to find me, as my dinner was ready, and I'd stumble downstairs after him, sleep-drugged and on an oxytocin-high from the breastfeeding.

I've already started entertaining fantasies of setting up a separate bed for me and the next baby, maybe a mattress on the floor of the nursery, where I can sleep with him or her, and breastfeed all night, so I never have problems with engorgement and mastitis and latching. I'm an eternal cock-eyed optimist.

The book talks at length about how by sleeping together, the infant never experiences separation anxiety, and grows up to be more confident and to sleep without any battles, as they've never had to fear the dark or being alone. I think we're lucky in that respect - yes we've had our fair share of battles with getting J-cub to sleep, but it's been more of the rocking-him-for-hours kind of fight, rather than leaving him to cry. We've never left him to cry for longer than the time it takes to dash upstairs when we hear him over the baby monitor. He is secure in our love, and now (mostly, teething episodes aside) falls asleep within seconds of being put in his cot.

This evening I've been back through our archives of photos, trying to find some of us sleeping together. There's only a few, but they're so lovely and so evocative of happy memories.

On our last day in hospital, I went for a shower and came back to find my two boys sleeping together

At my mum and dad's house, where J-cub did not sleep at all well at night, Jamie found this chair in their conservatory was comfy enough to catch up on some sleep

One of the hottest days of last year, J-cub had screamed and screamed for hours in the heat of the house. Mid-afternoon, I opened all the windows and turned on the ceiling fan in the study, and we both fell immediately asleep. Jamie found us here several hours later

This morning, after a Skip-worthy fainting spell caused by a) my new anti-depressants and b) trying to decide which bag to take to work, I called in sick and snuggled up with a very-glad-not-to-be-going-to-nursery baby

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Today's Look Up picture comes from the archives, J-cub reaching up to catch a balloon his Daddy is about to drop on his head. In his stash of toys we have 4 or 5 balloons from his first birthday party - pretty good going bearing in mind that he turned 14 months old today. And bearing in mind that he likes to a) sit on them b) drop heavy toys on them and c) bite them.