My heart

Apparently, I'm going to have a baby next week.  That's when my due date is, anyway.  One of my biggest anxieties, is losing my relationship with Jacob.  It's been tested to its very limits in the last few months, as he's fought against the changes going on with me: my lack of energy and desire (and ability) to play with him, not being able to bounce on me, my pain levels and simply not being able to sit on my lap; and the changes in his life: finishing day nursery, starting school, changes in the house to accommodate a baby.

He's had tantrums of the most epic size, complete with screaming, hitting, kicking, stamping, and shouting, the likes of which we never imagined he could produce.  We're still working our way through these, trying to figure out what to do to help him with his feelings, and how to get him to understand that he cannot attack people when something isn't going his way.

All of that aside, he is so excited about his baby coming along, he is so filled with love for us, and wants cuddles, hugs, kisses and to touch our skin all the time.  He often asks me to 'get the baby out' - which means to pull up my top so he can talk to the baby and kiss my bump.

I love him so much, and I'm so scared that the baby is going to come between us.  Everyone says that doesn't happen though, that your love doubles, rather than having to split it between two.  But just in case, I'm trying hard to appreciate every second of these last two weeks, to spend time cuddling and reading stories and just being the two of us.

My cheeky monkey, my boyface, my heart.

Bump watch - 38 weeks

Being brave.  I wanted to do a naked, unfettered bump photo at some point, and it looks pretty damn fine here, even if I do say so myself.

Aaaaaand .... publish.

Update on this pregnancy lark

I know I've been pretty rubbish at writing anything at all to do with this pregnancy, despite all my best intentions.

So let's have a catch-up now, eh?

Today I am 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant (or 37+5, to those in the know).  That makes it about 2 weeks until I'll realistically think something could happen (although I am now technically full-term) and 4 weeks until I'm booked for induction (done to avoid a repeat trip to see the consultant if I go over.  I'm sure I won't go over).

This cheeky baby was breech, just like her big brother, up until a week ago, when a scan showed that she was indeed head down.  And has a full head of hair, and ribs, and all kinds of cool things.  The best thing about the scan was that Jamie couldn't attend it with me, so my sister drove 200 miles with her 4-month old baby to be with me.  I therefore had my sister, my niece, and Jacob in the scan room with me.  Jacob was awesome, and thought it was really cool to see the baby.  Although he kept thinking we could see the baby because it had come out of my tummy, and when he turned round to see my tummy still intact, he got very confused.

Since then I've been getting lots of crazy movements, and I'm not entirely sure she's still head down, but am crossing my fingers.

She's given us a couple of scares during this pregnancy, going very quiet for a couple of days so we've had to haul ass down to the Day Assessment Unit to get monitored, but each time everything has been fine.

I've been a bloody nightmare to live with - lots of crazy mood swings, crying at the drop of a hat, and lots and LOTS of pain.  Pain in my ribs from her head bouncing where it shouldn't be bouncing, pain from her trying to move round and stretching me further than I'm designed to be stretched, painful Braxton Hicks, painful kicks in the bladder, pain from Sciatica, pain, pain, pain.  Restless arms and legs that make me want to crawl out of my skin or rip my limbs off, getting up six times in the night to go to the toilet, a pelvis so tight I can barely walk ... pregnancy sucks.

But as I'm approaching the end, and knowing that this could be my last pregnancy, I'm feeling kind of nostalgic and sad, like I'll miss it a fair old bit.  I'll miss the wiggles (even when they last for 5 hours at a time and keep me awake half the night) and the quiet times spent looking at my belly and being so happy that I'm here again.

I'm scared, of the birth, and of going through the difficult newborn phase again, and of splitting my love between Jacob and a new baby.  But I'm so excited too.  I can't wait to meet her, I can't wait to name her, and to carry her, and love her, and see Jacob loving her too.  We very suddenly seem to have reached the end of what has been a long struggle, and I don't feel quite ready, but I know we'll be fine.

Check out my belly ;)

Bump watch - 37 weeks

 Mothercare toilets again.  We made 3 stops here on our recent trip to town, I don't know where we'd be without them!

I took Jacob shopping in town (which I never do, even when not incapacitated by a large stomach-thing, we have a big out-of-town shopping centre near our house where we always go instead) and the walking set off a load of Braxton-Hicks contractions which stopped me from walking any further.  Handily, we were near McDonald's, so stopped for ice cream and a rest.  We got back to the car eventually!

Cousinly love

Jacob is totally, completely in love with his 'Nouky-bear.  And she was totally enamoured with him.  You couldn't prise them apart, it was lovely to see.  My sister stayed for 4 days, and every second was wonderful.  I can't wait to see what Jacob is like with his sister (especially now he thinks babies can laugh and smile and poke and play with things)...

Bump watch - 36 weeks

Happy after a scan showed the baby is head down and ready to rock :D

Updated Bump Watches

Look at that - a quick half-hour's work, and I've updated my Bump Watch posts.  And I'm only missing one week, pretty impressive work.  Everyone keeps telling me I'm tiny, and whilst I don't feel it, I do accept that I am significantly smaller than I was last time around.  Maybe that means this baby won't be quite so huge?  And therefore that labour will be nice and easy?

Yes, I'll keep telling myself that.

Now go forth, and check out my amazing stomach.

Many thanks ;)

International Babywearing Week 2012 - Day 1

Hello.

I have altogether too many posts in my posts-to-complete-and-publish file* and they're stopping me from getting on with the nitty-gritty of Actually Blogging so I'm going to ignore them and come back and do them another day**.

It's International Babywearing Week!  Woop!  Inspired by a question posed by Georgia from Documenting Delight on facebook, here is photographic evidence that yes, it is possible to babywear in heels.  This was at a wedding we attended when Jacob was 2, and helped us speedily get from the carpark to the church, and to contain him during the service.

I sold this shortie (BB Slen Green Peas, if you're interested) a while back and miss its softness.  I have a new shortie winging its way to me ready for #2, which I think I was red-carded for this morning.  I can't wait to have a squishy baby to get slinging.

One month to go!

*this is not a real file, it's a section of my head that I mostly ignore due to overwhelming feelings of Guilt.
**maybe.

Bump watch - 34 weeks

Blimey, I miss one week and this massive belly appears out of nowhere!